“I don’t know if I am voting for Mrs. Clinton. Why are you asking?”
It was my Tea Party brother who prefers the moniker of “Jeffersonian Constitutionalist”…. whatever that means. He called me from the road. I figured he was tired of listening to talk radio and wanted to bounce some ideas off me.
“So, you’re feeling the Bern?”
“I don’t know if I am voting for Bernie Sanders, either; but yes, I’m feeling the Bern today. I’ve been waffling between the two for a while.”
“You? You are undecided? You’re never undecided.”
“Hey. I’m driving to my last call and I know we decided to never discuss politics and I’m breaking our rule, but I gotta know. I have to get an idea of why people like Hillary Clinton. I just don’t understand people who are voting for her.” I wasn’t sure if he was genuine about that, but there was something in his voice that led me to believe we could break our self-imposed rule and discuss politics in a civil manner.
Unlike some people, I totally understand why people can, do and will vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton, but I would also like to remain on speaking terms with my brother. “You know, I can give you some insights, but you have to let me have my say. I’ll give you my analysis, but you need to listen and hold back on trying to “straighten me out” if you get my drift.”
“Ok, I get it. Just explain it to me.” So far, so good. Maybe this once?
I knew his promise would only last through my first sentence, so I decided to give myself some running room. “People know HRC. We have a 30 year track record and people who like and love her will continue to like and love her. Those who hate her, will continue to hate and despise her. She isn’t talking to that audience.”
“So, she’s written people like me, off?”
“No one on the Clinton campaign would likely admit to that, but if I was one of her analysts, that’s the conclusion I’d present; yes. Chances are good that when you hear reasons people will vote for HRC, you’ll declare them deluded, brain dead or a waste of skin in no particular order. Are you sure you want to hear her strengths from an unapologizing liberal like me?”
“Hey! That’s not fair! I said I’d listen.” Which is true he promised, but this is the same brother who walked out of my daughter’s birthday party over a funny quip at the expense of George Bush. He can’t let anything political go, ever; which is why we have a rule to never discuss politics.
Although his intentions were to listen, there’s no guarantee he’ll make good on listening through the whole list of HRC strengths. Still hedging, I started with, “Ok, from where I sit I’m seeing three alternatives. I can vote for Clinton, Feel the Bern or stay home. I don’t plan on missing out on this primary, so that leaves me Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton on the top of the ticket. The fact is, I cannot see me voting for any of the Republican possible nominees for president for any of a dozen or so reasons come November. My choice is less important now than it will be in November. I’ll be happy to vote for either Bernie or Hillary come fall.”
It didn’t last. “Wait a minute. Are you saying that you wouldn’t be voting for Hillary so much as you would be voting against any Republican? I never thought of you as a single-issue voter, before. You wouldn’t vote for any Republican simply because they are Republican?” Heh, leave it my conservative brother to boil my dozen or so reasons to not vote for any current Republican Presidential candidate down to a “single issue” of simply being a Republican.
“No, I said a dozen or so reasons including disagreements on their approach to fracking, clean water, the EPA, cleaning up disasters like Flint, ALEC, fossil fuels, renewable energy, social security, functional government, health care, reproductive rights, criminal justice reform, preventing the execution of black people by law enforcement for no reason, private prisons, drug policy, racism, oligarchy, and climate change. That’s not a single issue, it’s the entire GOP agenda that sux for me.” I stopped to take a breath.
And he used that breath to dive right in, “That’s what I mean! A single-issue voter!”
I smiled, “I love you bro, but I don’t think we can talk about this. Do you want to know why people will vote for Mrs. Clinton, or not?”
I think he decided he’d relent and be a little nicer in this conversation, because he said, “Ok, I get it. People aren’t voting for Hillary so much as they are voting against the Republican agenda.” He paused, “People really are that simplistic?” Oh, my brother can be very hard headed sometimes.
“Since when is disagreeing on 18 different issues considered simplistic? There is a lot of people who want to vote for Hillary Clinton and they won’t have to hold their nose before casting that vote. Her call for support of Flint, Michigan alone is reason enough to vote for Hillary Clinton. Sure, some people will unenthusiastically choose her, but many more will vote for her because they believe in her. People will happily vote for Secretary Clinton because she has a resume of accomplishments from championing children via SCHIP, the Violence Against Women Act, she was late to supporting LGBT rights, her support for black rights is better than most, but she was up front in calling for health care for 9-11 first responders and more. Some people might not like her stint as SOS; but she fulfilled President Obama’s foreign policy agenda. We’re lucky to have two strong Democratic Party candidates.”
“Ha! What are you talking about? What accomplishments! She only became a Senator because of her last name! The same thing got her to SOS! She’s done nothing! ….and don’t forget,” you guessed it, “BENGHAZI!”
I stopped talking.
The pause went on for several seconds.
A few more seconds.
I was irritated and not sure what to say. My brother spoke first, “I really do want to hear this. What of hillary’s accomplishments? I mean I need to know what you think are her accomplishments. What do you think she’s done that’s so great.”
It was the tone of my brother’s voice. The tone that I’ve heard throughout my life and career where men and yes, it is usually men and sometimes women, who discount what I say or do. That tone questioning my competence, abilities and accomplishments. That annoying tone in the exclamation when a plan works out perfectly, “Hey you really are smart!” That backhanded condescension is grating. It’s the tone that requires me to consider my response. Too strident and I’m labeled hysterical or a bitch. Too laid back and, well you know the bullshit. It’s more than tiresome.
I can empathize with some of the crap sent her way. It tees me off when someone denies her accomplishments. HRC ran for and won her Senate seat. HRC won confirmation as SOS of the U.S.A. Did she take advantage of her name? Only as much as Mitt Romney or George Bush. It is this pedantic, arrogant, dismissiveness toward Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton that generates a great deal of support for her, but how do I explain that to a casual misogynist?... the kind of myopic conservative who denies their covert misogyny? The very fact that he presumes to call her Hillary, hillary, really. He can’t even drum up enough respect to use her full name or append a Mrs. or Secretary or Senator before her name. Covert misogyny is hardly reserved to the GOP, but my bro is really accomplished at gender dismissiveness. How do I convey the idea that needley, jabby, get under the skin derision generates more support for candidate Hillary Clinton than is objectively measurable?
It took longer to respond than usual. “Hey, come on. Talk to me, you know I didn’t mean it.” You know the wheedling tone used to get away with crossing line? Yeah, his words were dripping in it.
I gathered my thoughts and responded, “That was a good example of underestimating Hillary Clinton’s supporters. The insults and dismissal of her accomplishments strengthen the resolve of her supporters. The fact that conservatives question her verified, practical world experience and seem to think Ted Cruz, John Kasich, Donald Trump or Marco Rubio have more relevant experience as Commander and Chief is absurd and it is rooted in misogyny. Once that contempt for womanhood comes out, some of her supporters then start thinking about women’s issues and it’s all downhill for the GOP candidates in my view.”
At that point my brother finally shoved me over the edge and with this comment, “Oh, so you’re voting for her only because she’s a woman. Plus, you all are pro-abortion…..” I’ve become pretty laid back when it comes to people saying inflammatory shit, but that one gets to me when I’m not prepared for it.
I was prepared for it. I didn’t raise my voice as I’m ever conscious about sounding shrill. I took a breath and plunged in, “That’s annoying. It’s not that Mrs. Clinton is a woman so much as she can take a shitload of sucker punches aimed at her solely because she’s a woman that garners support for her. And, for the record. No one is pro-abortion. If people were pro-abortion, they’d advocate all pregnancies be terminated. No one says or does that. I’m Pro-choice and I have a daughter. I chose to give birth. My body, my choice. Pro-abortion is a bullshit label concocted by the anti-abortion crowd who is willing to lie and deceive and do anything to stir the shit pot, get the upper hand and control women. It’s like me saying people who are anti-abortion are forced birthers...oh, wait; didn’t both Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio say they’re not in favor of allowing abortion in cases of rape and incest? They’d only allow it in the case of the mother’s health and she’d need to be on the brink of death before it would even be considered? You really want to go to how it is in El Salvador where women are put in jail for having a miscarriage? Oh, wait, didn’t that just happen in Tennessee or was it in Alabama? I’m not sure which state. You want to try again?”
He opted for a try at placation, “Whoa, whoa, there we’re getting close to why we don’t talk about politics here. I get it that we look at abortion from different starting points.” I could tell he was reaching within himself for a way to chill out our conversation. He, uh, missed, when he said, “I’m just saying that liberals are comfortable with murdering babies.”
Through, gritted teeth, “That also, is an absurd, condescending argument. You assume women who choose to end their pregnancies do it without consideration of the finality of the decision and/or do it for frivolous reasons. You want to try that again? Maybe the third time will be more charming?”
It wasn’t. “Now, now. No reason to get upset. I was just calling it the way I see it.” His failure to respect differences in opinion becoming more apparent with every word. “I just think there are too many abortions and we need a way to reduce them. I don’t have a problem with ending a pregnancy for a good reason, but there’s too many done for bad reasons.”I didn’t interrupt, but I was glad we were on the phone so he didn’t see my eye roll. “If my wife told me she was pregnant and wanted an abortion, I’d want to have a say in that decision. If she told me she wanted to abort the baby because their eyes were blue; I’d say no.” Oh, that tone. Like he was explaining this to a 10 year old. The grating arguments that push for giving birth, but nary a concession about assisting women and their families with the resources needed to care for a baby she’s unprepared to have. Rather than have this conversation go completely off the rails, I pulled back and went in a different direction.
I might have avoided the shrill thing, but fighting the edgy bitch was really difficult at this point. “See, this is why we can’t talk about stuff like this. That’s another invalid argument. There’s no way to know a fetus’ eye color until they are born. You’re trying to sound reasonable by talking about your wife who in this case, shares your views. What you really want is the ability to approve or disapprove every woman’s choice about her pregnancy, but you don’t want to give her real help in offering the resources needed to give birth. In loving, respectful relationships, these decisions are made together. A lot of women make this decision with their partners. Some who are abandoned by their partners do it on their own. The bottom line for me is: her body, her choice. While the bottom line for you is to have the government veto decisions you don’t agree with even if it isn’t any of your business. I got it. We need to get back to talking about why people are voting for HRC. You want to know who is voting for her and why. Turn that around. Who on the Republican side has a chance of drawing votes from people like me? Who did you go for in the SC primary?” I should thank my brother for getting me to verbalize why I vote for liberals. Their respect for reproductive rights is a major point.
“You’re right, this is why we don’t talk about these sort of things. But, I still think there’s too many abortions.” (Sometimes the best thing to do is let it go.) Anyway, he continued, “A lot of my friends voted with the Democrats and voted for Bernie Sanders. Others voted with the Democrats and voted for Hillary.” I knew this happens, but was surprised with his candid admission. I noted how he didn’t tell me who he voted for. “My big issue is immigration. We just need better control over our borders. We have too many people who don’t belong here coming in taking jobs and opportunities…. We’ve got people coming in getting cash assistance, food stamps and we can’t take care of the people we got. And the Syria…...” Oh, man, I was already done, but I listened to him go through the whole laundry list of right wing talking points about immigration. He finished with, “And I can’t believe anyone would trust hillary to keep our borders safe.”
It was my turn to throw gasoline on the fire, “I don’t know how anyone can exercise complete control over our borders. We have something like the next best thing to 20,000 miles of border. How do you control that? And, a lot of the people who are here without documentation came here through our airports legally and overstayed their visas.”
I was a little surprised at his reasonableness in his reply, “We have to try and we have to do better than we are now. The U.S. cannot take in every person in need. We can’t take care of our own people. How can we take in strangers and care for them?” I knew he wouldn’t hear any progressive solutions to that. Nor would he entertain any ideas about fighting unfunded wars being folly. He ended up repeating some of his previous talking points, but he never answered my question.
“We could get better control over the borders if we did a couple things. How do you feel about being a “papers please” state where you have to show ID upon demand?
“I wouldn’t go for that at all. Why should I have to prove my innocence. Besides we know who doesn’t really belong here.” Yep, he went there.
“So, your approach is that you would know who belongs here and who doesn’t based on how they look? I think that would be challenged under the 14th Amendment, but anyway; over half of your state is within the 100 mile U.S. border zone and as soon as you go east of Columbia or visit Savannah, CBP agents can ask you about your citizenship status. You can refuse to show proof, but if you aggravate the officer, it could go poorly for you.
In fact, about 2/3rds of the U.S. population lives within the border zone and are subject to demands for proof of residency or citizenship.”
My brother was incredulous, “When did that become law?” Like just about every conservative I know, he only knows the talking points about immigration. He doesn’t know the nitty gritty details. He knows the Breitbart spiel. He doesn’t know (and doesn’t care) about how detainees are mistreated.
“It’s not a law, it’s a regulation that came about sometime around 1950 and it’s not been seriously challenged in the courts. There’s checkpoints all along the Texas, New Mexico and Arizona borders that aggravate the citizenry in the area. I understand why you don’t like the idea about having to produce ID papers on demand.
What about going after employers who hire undocumented workers? How do you feel about misuse of H-1B Visas like Disney who brought in a bunch of people legally to replace an entire department of computer programmers?”
“That’s horrible. When did that happen?” Again, like many conservatives I know; he has no idea about H-1B visa misuse.
“Disney? Last October. But, you asked why I’d be voting for Hillary Clinton and it’s situations like Disney that make me look closer at Bernie Sanders. I think he’d be more proactive about misuse of H-1B visas. I get it that you are upset about immigration, but I think you need to spend some time thinking about how to secure 20,000 miles of border, what to do about the something like 40% who fly in and overstay their visas and how to get compliance from employers before we continue talking about immigration.” As wearying as this call was, it did make me think through my vote.
“You know, I gotta stop. You want to know why people will vote for Secretary Clinton? It’s because they believe she’s going to do a better job than anybody else running. She has practical world experience. She’s met and has a history with world leaders. She’s the only candidate who has the real life experience of sitting in the U.S. Situation Room. She respects people and their needs better than the GOP. She believes in functional government. Is she the perfect candidate? No such thing, but I like her better than any Republican running for President mostly because every last one of them hate government so much they vow to gut it’s functional abilities. If and when I decide to vote for Hillary Clinton in the Florida primary next week, I'll have no problem voting for her. That’s just how I see it.”
I could tell my brother had had enough, too, “Well, you’re right, I’m here at my job site. BTW, I like Bernie in that he says what he means and has been consistent about what he believes for 30 years. I’ll call you over the weekend to talk about it. Love ya! Bye”.
I honestly don’t know if I want to take that call.